Saturday, March 17, 2012

Deccy's St. Patrick's Day Picnic......

Begorra! If it’s not 17th March and time to celebrate everything that’s green and shamrock shaped.... ah that’ll be just shamrocks then. 

Ooooh there’s nothing quite like getting into the Irish spirit  (Mum recommends Jamesons) especially for someone like your man here who hails from the Emerald Isle. I was born in Limerick you know, so why my Mums go on about me having kissed the Blarney Stone, I don’t quite know..... I like to think my woof has a gentle Gaelic lilt to it, but Mum says given that my formative years were spent in Wolverhampton, my accent is somewhat less romantic. Humph! She is just jealous. 

Anyway, I don’t have time to be arguing as I have my friends to meet. And not just any friends at that. Oh no! Today is the day that Beryl and I get to go on our first proper “in the fur” date! We’re being chaperoned, of course.... Beryl is, after all a Princess. I know we’ll have a lovely time though. 

In fact come with me now, as I'm just about to meet everyone for our St. Pat's day treat! 

Let me introduce our chaperons for the day. Beryl's brother, my good mate Frankie and the lovely Puddles Duddles Rainwater who is the little lady with a big appetite for beer.

Oh yes! I have arranged a trip around the Guinness brewery in Dublin. Cool or what! Obviously there will be an opportunity to get rat arsed take part in some sampling of the goods later on. I have checked and Moet and Chandon is stocked, so my Princess will be well catered for too. 

Beryl is taking this souvenir photo as she is the only one of us that can properly handle a camera - her Mum Sue taught her everything she knows... (Love you, Mum-in-law! Hehe!)

I just knew everything was going too well. The brewery is closed - for the St. Patrick's Day holiday. Just when I was planning  for us all to get s**t faced a lovely cultural experience too.

Good job we've got Puddles. I knew I liked that girl for more than just her obsession with beer. She is full of good ideas.  There is absolutely no point in having a super-hero in your midst unless you are going to use him! Excuse me whilst I find a phone box to twirl around in. Oh no. That's Wonder Woman, isn't it? I'll just put my red Y-fronts on then.....

The brewery doesn't seem too difficult to get into. Perhaps they weren't expecting a flying greyhound dressed as Superman. Bit lax of them if you ask me. The amount people drink around here, they'll be plenty who have seen a stranger site than that!

Right then, this little lot should do for our drunken and debauched party genteel soiree in the park.

 How can Beryl fail to be impressed by this? I know how to show a girl a good time. She looks very attractive in this nice new hat I've bought her. I'm not quite sure why Puddles has green reindeer antlers on.... but that's Puddles for you. 

Well I suppose we should start our St. Pat's picnic. Everyone has a very long way to go to get home. Wonder if Puddles can even pretend that she's interested in the food rather than the beer? Oh fair enough. Crack us a can open kid. Hehe!  Best find Bery's champagne. I don't think she's the sort to slug beer from cans. " Nots like your usuals gurlz huh Dec? Snigger." " Shut up Pudd! I'm trying to make a good impression......."

.....As I said, create a good impression... hic. I loves you Beryl. No no I'm not drunk, I mean it... hic. Oh dear are you mad at me Beryl, love?

Stay with me! hic.
Stay with me!
Just wrap me up in chains
But if you try to go alone
Don't think I'll understand
La La La La Laaaaa..... hic

And so St. Patrick's Day draws to a close in exactly the same way as it does all over the world; lots of drunk people who've made slight fools of themselves and one or two others who are willing to forgive them - just this once. That's right isn't it Beryl?...... Beryl......?!!

Talking of such things, I'd like to take this opportunity to wish my Mums a very happy anniversary. Who'd have thought they'd have lasted 8 weeks never mind 8 years? hehe! Well done Mums. I love you. xx