Sunday, October 9, 2011
A Bad Case of Man-Flu.....
To put it delicately (some of you may be about to eat...) I've got a bit of an upset tummy. Mummies can vouch for this as between them they had to take me outside 8 times in 6 hours overnight, in order for me to use my private bathroom (behind the hedge).
Mum says she doesn't think it's anything to worry about too much at this stage; I just need to take things easy. I have interpreted this as follows: I can sleep where I want, when I want regardless of how inconvenient it is for everyone else. The gas fire and central heating will be left on at all times. Mum will hand feed me fillet steak and coffee cake and there will be warm milk to hand. She will constantly tell me how pleased she is to be taking me outside at 2.00am in the pouring rain and force 10 gale.
Mum's interpretation: My bed will be placed under the window, out of the way. If I am cold I can have my Banky over me and the heating will not be left on all night. I will be starved for 24 hours and then given small meals of chicken, rice and scrambled eggs. I will drink only bottled water. She will try and not be grumpy when being awakened by me loudly breaking wind, but isn't making any promises..
Life can be so very cruel sometimes, or at least Mum can be. Anyway, I'm sure I'll be feeling well enough to raise my head from my pillow in the next day or so and I'll tell you all about my holiday then.